Monthly Archives: November 2009

Where To Put Ads On A Blog

BEHOLD!  A visual representation of where to actually place ads on a blog. Finally!

I made it in response to all those bogus sites that give you some canned response along the lines of “Gee, you should really leverage your blog to hold ads…I generate tons of revenue cuz I know how to leverage, blah-blah-blah…”

And other such pearls of wisdom like the following…

“Just look at my site: I have thousands of visitors so I must be clever, AND, I know what I’m talking about. See that? That my friend, is a picture of a Mercedes XLR. With a skank. From advertising revenue, I’m gonna have one shipped to my house in an ecologically-sound container made from recycled pandabear reeeeeeeal soon! See you @ Blogmania Conference in 2010! With more skanks! Don’t tell my wife – don’t cockblock me – haters!”

—–Some Insecure Tool


“Because I have eight 17″ Macs and four 30″ monitors. I’m so damn rich on ad dollars it  makes me an authority on blog ads. I can now set my fancy high-tech network to wirelessly leverage teabagging me because I make so much money from ad revenue…I leverage…leverage, leverage…because I know what I’m talking about. From my heated solar-powered lawnchair right next to my bamboo home spa in my green LEED certified architecturally minimalist home in the Swiss Alps that I bought with ad dollars…btw, put lots of ads on your site – buy my ebook – what are you waiting for? Skank, bring me my Macbook Air. No, the OTHER ONE.”

——Turtleneck Nerdling In a Foreign Country


“BLOGMANIA CONFERENCE 2010! Casino- DUDE! Casino in the LOBBBBBYYYY! W00T!”

——-Slacker College Dropout with Startup Funds (don’t ask me how)

Fuck all that noise. (ok, it’s an inaccurate depiction- get off my ass)

I must’ve visited a few hundred sites (I’m not joking) and NONE OF THEM actually show you visual guides! And why the hell not, I ask? I ask thee?

SO! I took it upon myself to make a visual diagram of where the hell one actually places ads on a blog.

Because to newbies (that’s N00bs – get hip to the lingo people!) will get confused. Not all blog templates are built the same, so not all can accomodate all the different types of blog ads. There’s so many varieties, after all. Many sizes/ colors/ shapes -mygod, it’s like shopping for shoes at a back-to-school-sale! Shoot me now…

BUT NOT YET! Ok. Less talkie, more bringie!

Yes the diagram looks small. So does your **** Mr. Smartypants. But if you click on this link it’ll open bigger in a new tab or window, depending on type of browser you have. Can’t say the same for your little friend – slamdunk!

Where To Put Ads On A Blog Visually

A few things you should know about the image above:

  • It’s not drawn to scale. So when it says an ad measures 125×125 px., that’s not the exact size of a 125×125 square when you open it up on your computer
  • This is a blog design I came up with off the top of my head. It’s pretty lousy, I know
  • This  in no way represents any actual blog anywhere in cyberspace, just a general mishmash concept of every blog in blogosphere. And really, who’d come up with something this badly drawn except me?
  • It took many hours to make badly drawn diagram, hence the annoying watermark stamped all over it. Suck it up.

I assume you already read through that diagram. Good! Now I’m gonna bring in the black & white version so you can see exactly where each and every ad is located amongst that mess:

WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT!

It’s all pink-highlited to test the limits of your color-blindness and, security in your masculinity! Kidding, I highlited all ad spaces for better visibility. Also, it’s numbered! In baby-boy blue! Thank you Wingdings 2! Wait, was it Wingdings or Webdings? Hmm, now I want buffalo wings. Darn.

And now, the  breakdown: Continue reading

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