Anatomy of A Website (SuperMunk-style)

So many sites out there write up tutorials and crap using key words and terms the likes of which only an IT nerd could ever understand. Or someone already in the industry.

Or, basically anyone who can write an intelligible 250 word report. What’s that, like 2 1/2 paragraphs? (one page) Now consider Twitter’s 140 character limit and the disastrous downfall of current American education.
(for reference, please see Miss Teen USA 2007 Ms. South Carolina’s transcript or YouTube footage of said speech)

And where does that put C-students with average computer skills like me? Right below par.

But having gone to great lengths to read, understand and apply my newfound knowledge, I decided that it’s high time someone took to arms and decoded the anatomy of a website. You know. For us dummies.

Now not all of us who are self-operating such content-driven web 2.0 websites are this dumb, because if we were then golly! Insert here every cliche there ever was! And, it would surely reflect poorly on us as authors and quite obviously show up on our poorly designed sites. So who’s gonna follow some dumbass’ webpage anyway?

And on the other end of the spectrum! Spectrum, not speculum…

Then and again, too many so-called gurus put out how-to’s written in a format specially designed to be understood by other gurus only, thus dumbfounding the rest of us.
Just how are we supposed to learn this way?

Too many freaking sites tell you how your changes should look after you publish them. They tell, in fancy words, but don’t actually show you. Not enough sites tell you what they do, in idiot speech. Less than half actually show you step-by-step pictorials, so you are left to ‘envision’ what those changes may be.

And some think they’re slick and set up a Y0uToob video. (I intentionally misspelled that; why? Cuz fuck you, that’s why) But the video is too damn blurry no matter how much you enlarge the window, and worse, the sound is too damn low. You end up needlessly blowing-out your speakers to hear our soft-spoken author who can’t figure out basic video editing tecnhiques.

Note to all self-proclaimed SEO’s: Do not, EVER, under any circumstances, write content, in a manner, that ONLY YOU, can understand it. We are not computer engineers. This is, MF-frustrating.

Don’t alienate the rest of us with words and ideas we’ve never heard of. Decipher within your post what it all means or I’m never coming back to your site again.

Seems silly, don’t it?

As for me, since I’ve been telling you so far about every single change I make that I figured I might as well also show you a home-made map of what-is-located-where, on my website. As the title says, a-la SuperMunk style and from the 36 chambers of CSS. And without further ado, here it all is right below. Sure it looks small, but if you click on the image it will show up larger in another window:

And I’ll continue to do my best to make my posts understandable to Average Man, meerkats, and C students everywhere. And should I miss something, love of God, just say so under comments 🙂 I’ll answer each comment as needed though, know right now it may or may not be a smart-ass comment. Laced with a generous poo-fling topping. Toodles for now. *smooches*

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